8 weeks!

Well, today marks 8 weeks from surgery! I truly can't believe its been 8 weeks!!! Its very exciting to see how far i've come. I'm exercising more, being more active on the weekends and just all around i feel happier! I have lost a total of 37 lbs which takes me down to 223lbs. Still a long ways away from my ultimate goal but i feel optimistic that what i'm doing is leading me down the right road.
  The couch to 5k is going well. Just finished up our second week last night after work. It was humid and windy, not a very helpful combination. I had a hard time with it, almost gave up a few times but i powered through best i can.
  I went to a post op only support group meeting on Saturday. It was a great meeting, its always nice to hear that your not the only one going through the same dilemmas. As you know from previous posts, i had an emotional breakdown about a week after surgery. Well there was a lady at the meeting that was having one. It was heartbreaking. All i could think about was, thank God i'm not married with kids. To have to worry about so many other people at a time like this. It can't be easy. Dealing with issues of not feeling loved by your spouse when your fat/overweight and now that your losing weight they finally start paying attention to you. I can honestly say that would trouble me as well. I've been happy with who i am as a person for a while, but never been happy with my body. Which is one main reason why i don't date and refuse to let it go anywhere. Why should i let someone love my body when i don't. So when i hear someone saying that their significant other is basically confirming their own thoughts and fears about themselves, that just kills me. Your supposed to be able to trust that person. I just can't let myself go through that yet. I know eventually you have to put your heart out there, and that is so hard to do, but until i'm in the right place physically as i am mentally, i'm staying away! Trust me i have the attitude, i just don't have the body confidence yet.  I don't feel sad about that, or sorry for myself about it, i accept it and am looking forward to the change that is happening within me through having this surgery. This is going to be a great year, and for my journey, its only just begun!