convienient

Have you ever found yourself doing one thing when alone and then in front of people you say you can't do that or have that because of some reason or another? Lets call it the convienent lie/truth. If you've read any of my posts or the title of my blog you'll know i had bariatric surgery. I find the farther out i get, the more i test what i can and can't have, what i can get away with, whether its healthy for me or not. But i also find myself using my surgery as a reason to refuse food in front of people, but deep down i know that if i was alone, i would eat it, guilt free. So it begs the question, should i be eating it then? I've always struggled with demonizing food. Making it the bad guy, when its me who is making the choices. Food isn't bad, its the emphasize you put behind it that makes it "bad".
   So what I need to do, and want to do so badly is get back to what is good, what is nourishing to my body. What makes me feel good for long term, not a short term high. I want to be true to my new pouch, because i want it to be good to me for years to come. This is not a short term fix, its a long term goal and life. I want to be the best i can be. I don't have control over many things, but i like to think God has at least given me control over what the heck i put in my mouth to nourish my body!

So i need to start getting creative, and sucking it up and eating the healthy foods i buy. Because you know what? They actually taste good, look good and make me feel good! Because i want to find the best ME possible, to see what i am really made of and like the person i am, inside and out.

So i am attempting to be 130lbs, be skinny and exercise because its fun. Play with my dogs more, because they are only here for a short period of time so I should make their lives awesome! I'll need all the encouragement i can get, good vibes, prayers, thoughts, whatever you got, i'll need it!