Lost

Sometimes i have days, weeks, moments where i feel lost. The world is overwhelming, i expect too much of myself and then in my mind, it all falls apart. I feel at 19 months post op i should have my diet under control. Do I? Not at all. It comes and goes, but generally i feel it just goes. I had done the liquid diet a couple months ago, lost 6 lbs from that, and kept them off. But then i started my bootcamp, and started over compensating for all the calories i burn on those 3 days. Allowing things back in, how easily they creep back in. But now however, i certainly can't go back on the liquid diet because on the days i do have bootcamp i burn far too many calories to keep my energy up for it. Plus i feel i need to be able to do it for a few days in a row, so i decided to wait till after bootcamp is over to do it again, to hopefully shed a few more pounds.

I've had some chocolate here and there, some chips from time to time. Of course its all around at work, which makes it hard to say no to. I don't necessarily dump or throw up from it, but i almost get sick like when i eat it. I just feel really crummy, which caused me to miss my bootcamp on tuesday. I did however get on my treadmill and ran/jogged a whole mile straight. A WHOLE mile!! Sure doesn't sound like much but it was for me, and i couldn't of been prouder of myself! Clearly all of the running at bootcamp is helping. Helping what? I don't know, but its helping.

 By Thursday i just felt depressed and sad, down on myself about some of my choices. I really felt the need for support, and luckily U of M was having a support meeting that night. In my heart i just knew i needed to go. We did yoga for the first hour. I have to say, i might be thinner than i was but some of that was still hard, i can't imagine how all of the pre ops felt. They must really have been struggling. Yet i had to be thankful for how far i have come that i could do most of it, and at least i wasn't out of breath doing it. That was a great feeling. There were about 6 of us that were post op, and it was almost like a question/answer session for us. As my friend Nicole said , it was like we were on a panel since we were all sitting together at the front of the room. It was definitely a moral boost to help them and support them, i love doing that!

I may have missed 2 days of bootcamp and could of gotten discouraged and just given up but i didn't allow myself. I made myself get up Saturday morning and go to bootcamp. I'm so glad i did. It was actually fun! We did these things called slingshots. We ran in a single file line of about 4-6 people. The person in the back and to sprint to the front and then slow down to set the pace, then the next person in back would run to the front and so on and so forth. Luckily we were put into group with people of similar speeds. We would run 4 laps, then head back to "home" and do our ab exercises, water up and then head out and do it all over again. Did that for 90 min. It sounds monotonous but i actually enjoyed the team work and everyone running together.

At least i ended off my week on a good note. I even bought some cute skinny pants from old navy to wear with my cute brown boots! I love them! So even though i may be a little lost and out of it, i know I am surrounded by support and a cute outfit to boot! Have a great week and i'll talk to you all next weekend!

Guilt free pizza!

So when I went grocery shopping this weekend I ended up at Walmart and as always, I wander around. In the deli section I found flatout bread. They had some new choices like an artisan pizza crust. I've tried their other flatouts for pizza and wasn't impressed but this looked different and was a new flavor so I gave it a go!

Flatout bread is 140 calories and 7 grams of protein. 26 carbs but nothing to feel too guilty about being a yr and a half out.

Pizza sauce is 80 calories for 1/2cup. I used just over 1/4 cup so only 40 calories and 1 gram of protein.

Cheese is a pizza blend, sure I should probably use the 2% stuff but I used a serving so I was good. 1/4 cup for 100 calories and 7 grams of protein.

I just followed the instructions on the back of the package.  It told me to cook the bread in the oven for 4-5 min first.  Then I put the sauce and cheese on and baked it for another 6 min. It was very good and crispy!

So 280 calories for 15 grams of protein. Not bad for a whole pizza that is filling!

Turkey sandwich

So I made a turkey (fake) sandwich tonight. I found these fold it sandwich things by flat out for only 100 calories and 6 grams of protein! I added some mustard, lettuce, cheese and of course the fake turkey slices. I layered it. First I put mustard on the top and bottom part on the bread. Then I layed down a slice of cheese on each side. I then put some more mustard on and then covered it with a slice of turkey.  Then I put on some lettuce, completing it with one last slice of cheese for right in the middle.

Cheese is 120 calories and 7 grams of protein for 3 slices
Soy turkey is 100 calories for 4 slices I only used 2 so 50 calories and 7 grams of protein.
Bread is 100 calories and 6 grams of protein.
Nutrition for the mustard and lettuce is not worth mentioning.
All together we have a 270 calorie sandwich with 20 grams of protein! And very filling!

Back on Track

So i suck at updating. I really need to get better at it. At least weekly no matter what i need to post something. I want a following and want to get my story out there.

So about 6 weeks ago i decided that i needed to get back on track, truly on track, and did a liquid diet. I have struggled with getting back on track for the past year almost and needed to do this. Its just sucking it up and doing it. I had seen everyone on my Michigan Sleevers group on Facebook  was doing the 5 day pouch test which i think motivated me to do this. I can't do the 5 day pouch test because it involves lots of meat and well, i don't eat meat. haha. So i decided to just go back to all liquids. For 4 days i did 3 protein shakes and a quest bar. I ended up dropping about 6 lbs in the 4 days. It was very rewarding. The struggle was similar to when i did my 2 week pre op diet. I got a headache the first couple days, which sucked. Clearly the carbs and creeped back into my diet and i had to detox from them. I loved the support i got from my facebook group. I still am in awe of how close knit the bariatric community is. I wish i had this kind of support on all the other diets i was on. I wish there was a way to give others without bariatric surgery the support they need to lose weight, so they don't have to resort to surgery. I don't regret a second of it, but just in hindsight wonder if i had this support before would i have succeeded?

3 weeks ago a friend coaxed me into trying out a boot camp class. Its 3 days a week for 2 hrs a session. Crazy right? YUP! She has been trying to get me to do this for a while now, and for some crazy reason i went through with it. haha! We just completed week 3 and have 3 more weeks to go. It is not easy! it is by far the hardest and most mentally challenging thing i have ever done. Every muscle in my body tells me to give up because its never done this before, never been pushed this hard and is used to just giving up. I am so proud of myself for not, but it still sucks! I hate to love it! lol. Everyone in the class is so supportive and amazing! I think they are the reason i go back. I told one of the ladies in class yesterday that the soreness has yet to go away, yet you get used to it and it becomes a part of you. It becomes your new norm. She said shes been sore for 10 months. But at least i know my body is being worked and will look amazing because of it. I know i'll have lose skin from all the weight i have to lose but this will help tone up where i can and push me to new goals and places i never thought i could go! I hope once i complete this session i can do another session in January, keep the soreness going! haha!