I start my journey into bariatric surgery next Wednesday. I have to keep in mind that God is in control and that this will not solve all of my problems. I have been working on myself for the past couple years, with therapy. I've seen 3 therapist in the past couple years and took the hunger within class, which, i feel, has changed me profoundly. Although i don't feel my eating habits have necessarily changed that drastically, I feel I am very aware of what i'm doing. I'm not happy about it, and feel stuck on how to change but i'm aware. I thought this morning that skinny or fat if you don't exercise its still not easy to start. But i keep the hope that once i get this weight off of me, that it will be at least easier to move around and walk up stairs.
I remember when i was in High School around 160 lbs and convinced i was fat. Now i look back at pictures and realize, wow, you had a warped perception of yourself. I may of had a few extra lbs but i was not fat. I could at least hide it then, but now, no amount of baggy clothes can hide this. I am at least 100lbs more than i was in high school. Maybe God brought me to this point to show me that i was crazy to think i was fat back then! lol. Which i now realize i was. I pray that this journey is successful and that i achieve what i am looking for.
