Weight loss update

So as of this morning i am down 30lbs! I am quite happy with myself! My 2 week plateau is finally over! It's been just over a month since surgery so I took an updated photo. I don't see much of a difference but others seem to.

time for the gym

Gym has never been a friend of mine. Our relationship has come and gone many times over. We usually only last a few sessions or a few weeks at the most. However i hope and pray this time will be different. I hit the gym for the first time last night after work. I went through the day with full intentions of staying for at least an hour. I only made it 30 min. haha. Luckily we have a gym here at my work so i have no excuse to go home, sit down and talk myself out of going back to the gym. I had already done my almost normal 2/15 min walks on my breaks and was so proud of myself for even going to the gym on top of that!
So i get down to the gym and decide to start on the elliptical, it has always been one of my favorite machines, i like the idea that i'm running but not really. I had gone to a support group meeting on Saturday at the hospitals transition studio for bariatric patients. We did some exercises, got to know the machines and learn what they do there. I had noticed that they have their patients rotate the weights and cardio. Do 3 machines then 5 min of cardio. So i decided that might be a good way to start. Break up the cardio and the strength training. So i did 5 min on the elliptical then got down, cleaned the machine and went over to the machines of steel. I've done this sort of stuff before, so i felt fairly confident in what i was doing. Boy was i wrong! These machines were like midevil! They had the weirdest set up and took me 5 min just to figure out how to change the weight setting on the first machine! I almost gave up, but i finally figured it out and did my reps. Did a couple more machines that were just as weird. Then i went on to the recumbent bike. Again an old machine, but i was determined to figure it out. That took me a few minutes as well. I feel i went for about 5 min on that, although i had a heck of a time finding the timer on the display so ended up just working through 2 songs on my ipod. Went back to the weights and finished up with 5 more minutes on the elliptical. I felt pretty darn good and satisfied with myself.
Well when i got home i had some pain in my right side, same place i had for about 10 days after surgery. I just relaxed, finally went to bed and read. Still woke up with the pain this morning. So i took some tylenol. Ya, that didn't help. I talked to one of my bariatric friends and we believe i lifted too much too soon. I never went over 30lbs, and i didn't feel like i was straining myself, but i must of pulled or pushed a little too much. So note to self, don't push yourself only 4 weeks after surgery, especially with weights! Do less weight and more reps. Lesson learned!
On a great note! I weighed myself this morning and the scale finally budged! I went down only .6lbs but i was just so happy to see it get off that number after 2 weeks! So i'm hoping the gym workout jolted my body to start losing again!

First week back to work

My first week back went well. Everyone was very excited to see me. It's so great to feel loved and missed by my coworkers. I thought getting into a routine would be difficult but it was easier than I thought. My schedule at work is pretty set, so I knew what times I would do things. It felt weird packing my lunch and all I took with me was a small container or food and a bottle of isopure. When before I would of had a snack for before and after lunch and a lunch. Now it's just this little container of maybe 3 oz of food and it fills me up. I sip on water and the isopure the rest of the day which keeps me satisfied till I get home for dinner.
I was determined to make myself take my 15 min breaks twice a day and go for walks. I did great, it was nice to get away and just focus on the walk. It's fun because there are so many people in my building that walk the building, somehow you don't feel alone.
I'm still stuck with no weight loss since last Wednesday. Getting very frustrated. I haven't gotten on the scale in a few days and refuse to. I'm just trying to stay active and positive!

Weight loss

So maybe I'm being unreasonable, maybe not. I'm not freaking out or anything just wondering if I'm doing something wrong. I'm down 25 lbs and have sat here for about 2 days. I know that doesn't sound bad but up until now I've been losing about a pound a day. I did start the puréed diet wednesday so my food options have opened a bit. I'm sure I'm eating a little bit more, so I guess I need to exercise more. Not like I don't have the time! So I have to put on my music and walk it out! I hope once I do I'll start seeing results again. So instead of letting it get me down, I have to strategize and work out a plan!

Post op journey

Well I am now two weeks post op. A few days after being home, being the genius that I am, I swallowed water the wrong way and was hacking. It was so painful, it felt like the stitches under the skin were being ripped out of my body! Then the next day I took my multi vitamin on an empty stomach followed by some Tylenol. Went to lay down and a few seconds later a wave of nausea came over me. I leaped up from the couch with my little pillow to hold my stomach and warned my mom that this was not going to be pretty. Luckily not much came up, but after the incident the day before, wow that hurt!
I did fairly well the first week after surgery. I had my mom staying with, taking care of me. It was nice to have the company. She constantly had me sipping on protein drinks and water. After that first week and being on all these liquid proteins for three weeks, I was done with it. I could not physically bring myself to drink anything sweet. All of these protein drinks are sweet! So what was I left with? Not much. Luckily I didn't care. But for some reason I was angry. Angry that I didn't have options and that everything was liquid! For a couple days all I ate was cream of wheat for breakfast then mashed potatos with chicken soup unjury for dinner. Not much, I know, but I wasn't hungry and I was not going to touch the sweet protein drinks with a ten foot pole! By the weekend my depression kicked into high gear. All I wanted to do was cry. I couldn't tell you why I was sad, but I just had these emotions in me and if you just looked at me the wrong way I would start crying. I hated it. I had not felt this way, this sad, since going on meds nearly 6 yrs ago. I was still taking my meds so what the heck was wrong with me! So I reached out to some of the friends I had made in the support group meetings. One person explained it to me as mourning the loss of food. It made sense. Food was always my comfort, my go to, something to do when I was bored because I was too tired and lazy to go anywhere or do anything. Normally I would find food, sit down, watch tv and be content. Now, with no desire for food my body and mind were conflicted. I was sad and crying like I had lost something near and dear to my heart. It was just food. I told myself I didn't want or need it anymore, and that was the truth. So why was I feeling this way? My mom tried to distract me by taking me shopping, and sure I laughed here and there but I kept having this nagging feeling of sadness. So I finally caved after 3 or 4 days of this and called to make an appointment with my therapist. I just couldn't take it anymore, and somehow she always makes me feel better! So I finally saw her yesterday. She helped validate my feelings. I explained everything I was feeling and other things I was going through and she helped me talk it out. Told me it was normal and a hard time. To obviously find things to occupy my time. I had just finished a series of books a couple days before, so she suggested I read some more.
She gave me a couple authors to try. My mom, being wonderfully supportive decided to order me a kindle, because if I'm gonna take up reading doing it on my phone long term probably isn't the best idea, plus on kindles you can share books with other kindle users! So I am excitedly awaiting my new distraction from food.
Although as I said before I have no desire for food nor am I hungry. However my surgeon did explain that the food was giving me dopamine to my brain to make me feel better. He said this reaction doesn't happen to very many people but he did see how it was possible. It's all an addiction and I need to find something healthier to be "addicted" to. Of course he suggested exercise. So here I am, 25lbs lighter and on my way to a new me. It's scary, and I don't know what my next hurdle will be, but I know I have great supportive people behind me. 😄

Day of surgery

I was so thankful my surgery wasn't until 11am. Although I was still up by 7 to take my medication it could of been a lot earlier! We got to the hospital at 9. I believe they took me back to pre op around 10:30am. Within the next hour I met way too many people. Too many of the same questions! Which they apologize for, but of course they have to hear you say it. After the second one I was ready to just write it down and hand it out to each person that came in. Save time, you know? I was never really nervous. The part I did not enjoy though, was getting the IV in. They did it on the side of my wrist, because I was scared of her doing it in my hand.
By 11:15-11:30 we were ready to go. I remember being wheeled back to the operating room, then shifted from the stretcher to the operating table via hovermat. They put the mask over my face and I was out within seconds.
I remember bits and pieces post op. I woke up at one point and begged for my mom. I was in pain I believe and just wanted my mom. She came for a little bit, but I dozed off again. I remember my dad coming back to see me. My mom had told me later on that it was quite a while after she had come back. I dozed in and out the rest of the day. I finally woke up for good around 2 am. Thank God I had a private room! I turned the tv on and just hung out. The nurse came in and explained everything that I was hooked up to. Morphine drip for pain and a catheter. Which by the way, is quite awesome! Not having to get up and go pee! Good times. Haha!
The next couple days and nights in the hospital were filled with unwelcomed doctors and nurses and techs taking my blood and blood pressure. They don't care what time it is, they just waltz right in and wake you up. I get that I'm not going anywhere but can't a girl get some dog gone sleep! By the last day, I was in tears. They had switched me over to morphine pills and I had to ask three people to get me some meds. It took a whole hour and my mom to get something. When the nurse came in she had the audacity to say "you finally need something?" really!!! Yes I need some damn pain pills before I break down crying again from the pain! Let's just say I've had much better experiences in the hospital and I was glad to finally go home, to my own bed, and quiet!

Pre op diet

I was nervous for the pre op diet. I was very prepared. Ordered everything, went shopping days before. I did great! The first two days were hard, getting hunger headaches but after that I felt fine. I had energy and was never hungry. I had always heard protein would keep you full but I didn't believe it. I just never did enough protein. Taking in over 100 grams of it will keep you full! So I didn't feel like I was missing out on much. Then I started pmsing. I remember it was a Sunday, and I had the worst craving for pizza! I never smelled it or saw any, but that was all I could think about. I texted a few of my support people. My mom said "no you can't". I just laughed and said, "well I could but it would be more helpful to tell me why I should choose not to and remind me what I'm working towards". Then I texted my friend Liz. I loved her response! She told me pizza is yucky and that I didn't really want that! Another friend told me to imagine it with something I hate on top of it. So I imagined it with mushrooms. That pretty much did the trick. After that day I was pretty much good to go. I finished off the last week great! I was grateful to start and end my period before surgery.