Well, today marks 8 weeks from surgery! I truly can't believe its been 8 weeks!!! Its very exciting to see how far i've come. I'm exercising more, being more active on the weekends and just all around i feel happier! I have lost a total of 37 lbs which takes me down to 223lbs. Still a long ways away from my ultimate goal but i feel optimistic that what i'm doing is leading me down the right road.
The couch to 5k is going well. Just finished up our second week last night after work. It was humid and windy, not a very helpful combination. I had a hard time with it, almost gave up a few times but i powered through best i can.
I went to a post op only support group meeting on Saturday. It was a great meeting, its always nice to hear that your not the only one going through the same dilemmas. As you know from previous posts, i had an emotional breakdown about a week after surgery. Well there was a lady at the meeting that was having one. It was heartbreaking. All i could think about was, thank God i'm not married with kids. To have to worry about so many other people at a time like this. It can't be easy. Dealing with issues of not feeling loved by your spouse when your fat/overweight and now that your losing weight they finally start paying attention to you. I can honestly say that would trouble me as well. I've been happy with who i am as a person for a while, but never been happy with my body. Which is one main reason why i don't date and refuse to let it go anywhere. Why should i let someone love my body when i don't. So when i hear someone saying that their significant other is basically confirming their own thoughts and fears about themselves, that just kills me. Your supposed to be able to trust that person. I just can't let myself go through that yet. I know eventually you have to put your heart out there, and that is so hard to do, but until i'm in the right place physically as i am mentally, i'm staying away! Trust me i have the attitude, i just don't have the body confidence yet. I don't feel sad about that, or sorry for myself about it, i accept it and am looking forward to the change that is happening within me through having this surgery. This is going to be a great year, and for my journey, its only just begun!
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
couch to 5k
Today is a momentous occasion for me. I weighed in at 226, which about 5 yrs ago i believed would be my highest weight. I even told myself and my parents " i'll never weigh this again". Ha! Was i sorely mistaken! Well i hope i can say this time that truly 260 was the highest i'll ever be, which is where i started at.
I had told myself before surgery that i wanted to start running once i got down to 200lbs. My weight loss is being kind of slow. Not necessarily a bad thing, but i want to see a little movement! I have been going to the gym a couple days a week, but needed something more! I have a coworker who had said from the beginning that she would do the couch to 5k with me. I told her, once i get to 200lbs we will do it. Well ya know what, why wait! I was getting antsy and kind of excited to start it, plus it was a instant workout buddy! So last Thursday we started. It's 3 days a week for 9 weeks. Each week the running/jogging duration increases. The first day was hard. Nothing about running is easy for me. I have so much extra weight to carry around, it definitly makes it hard. I think we do about 6-7, 60 second runs each session. Well the first day i did all but the last run. I got a horrible side pain, so we just took it easy and walked it. Saturday i went for day 2, and by myself mind you, and did it all! Its an amazing feeling of accomplishment. I can't believe how excited and proud i am once i finish. Yesterday, Monday, was day 3 and the last day of week 1. I didn't feel i had to push it as much, it still was not easy, but a little less strained. However i am nervous for Thursday to start week 2 and 90 seconds of running this week around. Its like i just got used to the 60 seconds and now we are upping it. But maybe thats the point! haha. So by the end of 9 weeks i should be able to run a 5k which is 3 miles. Its a weird thought, but exciting. I am so thankful to have my friend Jane running it with me and supporting me the whole way! I feel so blessed to have such amazing people around me.
So all in all, i feel the running is helping me shake up the weight loss. I pray it just keeps falling off. I am doing some weight training things so i'm probably gaining muscle right now as well. Muscle burns fat and increase your metabolism, so it can build and take its time and then just drop the weight in a little bit! fingers crossed. Either way, i feel great and excited for whats in store for me and my exercising ventures!
I had told myself before surgery that i wanted to start running once i got down to 200lbs. My weight loss is being kind of slow. Not necessarily a bad thing, but i want to see a little movement! I have been going to the gym a couple days a week, but needed something more! I have a coworker who had said from the beginning that she would do the couch to 5k with me. I told her, once i get to 200lbs we will do it. Well ya know what, why wait! I was getting antsy and kind of excited to start it, plus it was a instant workout buddy! So last Thursday we started. It's 3 days a week for 9 weeks. Each week the running/jogging duration increases. The first day was hard. Nothing about running is easy for me. I have so much extra weight to carry around, it definitly makes it hard. I think we do about 6-7, 60 second runs each session. Well the first day i did all but the last run. I got a horrible side pain, so we just took it easy and walked it. Saturday i went for day 2, and by myself mind you, and did it all! Its an amazing feeling of accomplishment. I can't believe how excited and proud i am once i finish. Yesterday, Monday, was day 3 and the last day of week 1. I didn't feel i had to push it as much, it still was not easy, but a little less strained. However i am nervous for Thursday to start week 2 and 90 seconds of running this week around. Its like i just got used to the 60 seconds and now we are upping it. But maybe thats the point! haha. So by the end of 9 weeks i should be able to run a 5k which is 3 miles. Its a weird thought, but exciting. I am so thankful to have my friend Jane running it with me and supporting me the whole way! I feel so blessed to have such amazing people around me.
So all in all, i feel the running is helping me shake up the weight loss. I pray it just keeps falling off. I am doing some weight training things so i'm probably gaining muscle right now as well. Muscle burns fat and increase your metabolism, so it can build and take its time and then just drop the weight in a little bit! fingers crossed. Either way, i feel great and excited for whats in store for me and my exercising ventures!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Red room of pain
So while on medical leave after surgery I read the series "fifty shades of grey". Just recently I read it a second time. In the books the main character Christian Grey has a red room of pain where he does "interesting" things to his submissives. Well today I started personal training. Had to sign paperwork and talked about what I wanted from this besides weight loss. I said, endurance. So she said ok well let's get started. We'll start in the red room. Immediately I thought, red room of pain and about curled over in laughter! And let me tell you. It might not be Christian Grey's red room of pain but it inflicted its own sort of pain!
So yes I'm starting a personal training program. She helps come up with exercises to do and since I have a gym at work I will then go there and proceed with what she has instructed me to do. Then every couple weeks go back and come up with a new program! I'm excited to do this! Although my legs feel like jelly right now, but the more I do, the easier it will be and more I can push myself! I want endurance. I want to be active and run around and have fun!
So yes I'm starting a personal training program. She helps come up with exercises to do and since I have a gym at work I will then go there and proceed with what she has instructed me to do. Then every couple weeks go back and come up with a new program! I'm excited to do this! Although my legs feel like jelly right now, but the more I do, the easier it will be and more I can push myself! I want endurance. I want to be active and run around and have fun!
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