Right now i feel as though i'm slipping. I feel so stressed and have anxiety that everything is slowly slipping away. i don't want to lose what i've learned, and in some ways i know i haven't, but why can't i seem to apply it and stick to it.
I'm in the middle of selling my house to move to Florida to be closer to my parents. Its a decision i am at peace with, but its everything else that scares me. Finding a new job, new friends, new health care providers(will i have insurance?), a vet for the dogs, a hair stylist for me. Starting over is possible, i've done it before, but this is the first one that i'm more conscious that i'm turning back to food fro comfort to a degree. I hate that. I'm sure i did it before but never realized it.
I want one constant in my life that i can count on. I want that to be my diet and exercise. Because no matter where i am or where i live, i should be able to control that right? I probably should take up running again, as its getting warmer out, plus once i get to Florida it will always be warm and i can run anytime there.
I also feel like everyone one around me seems to be succeeding and i'm just floundering. No one wants to listen to me bitch and moan about how depressed i am about this. Well i suppose except those that may read this. I want their motivation and dedication. I want to be able to find someone close in proximity to me to work out with a few days a week and be able to rely on them and them on me. I suppose since thats never happened i really should get over that dream.
I realize i'm pmsing and my emotions are a little skewed but i feel they are still valid. I just want to be proud of myself and get to my goals. I know the only person who can change that is me. I just feel my mind is working against me right now.
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